Skip to content

Instagram Pinterest
  • Home
  • Parents

Learning Our Connection

  • About Me
  • Contact
Learning Our Connection

“If they can’t learn the way we teach, we must teach, we must teach the way they learn”

Supporting Neurodivergent Connection

Welcome. Iโ€™m Nia, and Iโ€™m a mom to a non-speaking autistic son. If you are looking for non-speaking autism support, I know exactly what itโ€™s like to spend hours searching for things that actually help. Like you, Iโ€™ve spent so much time trying to figure out how to connect and communicate in ways that work. This is especially true on those days when everything feels heavy and unclear.


Iโ€™ve spent 18 years teaching in classrooms, but at home, Iโ€™m just a mom navigating the same sensory meltdowns and communication gaps you are. I wanted a place that feels honest about that reality. Here, I share the tools weโ€™ve actually used at the kitchen table along with my real thoughts on what helped us. I also talk about what didnโ€™t work and how we had to adapt things to fit our family’s needs.

More About me

Tools and REsources

Non-speaking Autism Support and Improving Fine Motor Skills

In our journey with Level 3 autism, Iโ€™ve realized that communication and physical ability are deeply tied together. We spend a lot of our time focusing on fine motor skills because those small movements are what help my son become more independent. I am not just trying to check a box. I am looking for ways to make his daily life a little easier for him.


These wins might seem small to others, but for us, they are everything. It is the strength he needs to close a buckle on his seatbelt, the coordination to use a zipper, or the control to point clearly to a picture when he wants to tell me something. Since these moments matter so much, Iโ€™ve put together a collection of activities and tools that have helped us. I want to help you find those same breakthroughs without the stress of overcomplicating your day.


Maybe youโ€™re looking for a simple resource to help with tonightโ€™s bedtime routine. Maybe you just need to hear that someone understands. This space is here for both.


You are not walking this path alone.

Coming Soon!

Meet Them Where They Are

There’s no one way to learn, think, or show what you know. The moment we stop waiting for children to fit our system and start reshaping our approach, everything changes.

  • A heartfelt moment showing the connection and love involved in raising a non-speaking autistic child.
    Parent Wellness | Parents

    Feeling Alone? The Reality of Parenting an Autistic Child with Level 3 Support Needs.

    ByNia February 1, 2026February 3, 2026

    Iโ€™m putting this out there because raising a non-speaking autistic child can feel incredibly isolating; but if this connects with even one person, I hope my story makes you feel a little less alone on this road. Across Asia, I taught language and literacy for more than 18 years. My background also includes a master’s…

    Read More Feeling Alone? The Reality of Parenting an Autistic Child with Level 3 Support Needs.Continue

learningourconnection

Mom to a wonderful autistic boy with non-speaking severe Level 3 autism. Sharing real experiences through our shared journey. @learningourconnection

This is one of those things that still upsets me n This is one of those things that still upsets me no matter how many times it happens.

Someone will be in the same room as my son, talking about him like he's not standing right there. Discussing his behaviors, his diagnosis, his challenges, his future, all while he's present and listening. 

They wouldn't do this to a speaking child, but because my son can't verbally object, they act like he can't hear them or doesn't understand.

I've had doctors, therapists, and teachers, do this. They'll turn to me and have entire conversations about my son's limitations while he's right there. 

I've gotten better at interrupting these conversations. At redirecting people to talk to my son, not just about him. At reminding them that he's present and deserves respect. 

But I shouldn't have to do this. It should be obvious that you don't talk over someone like they don't exist. My son is here. He's listening. He understands more than you think. And he deserves better than being treated like he's invisible. 

#AutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismMom #PresumingCompetence #nonverbalautism #Level3Autism #AutismLife #AutismJourney
My son, husband and I have created something entir My son, husband and I have created something entirely our own.

It's not sign language or AAC, though we use those too. It's the unspoken language that's developed between us over years of learning each other. 

I know what it means when he takes my hand and pulls me somewhere. I know the difference between his happy stims and his anxious ones. I know when he needs space and when he needs me close. 

 We're always adding new "words" to our shared vocabulary, new ways of understanding each other. It's beautiful, actually, even though it's nothing like what I imagined communication with my child would look like.

I used to grieve the fact that my son and I would never have verbal conversations. But now I see that what we have is just as valid. 

Our language might look different, but it's ours. 

#AutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismMom #AutismCommunity #AlternativeCommunication #PresumingCompetence #AutismLife #nonverbalautism #AutismSupport
I've learned to celebrate things most people would I've learned to celebrate things most people wouldn't even notice. 

A moment of eye contact.

 My son bringing me something to show me instead of just walking away with it. Him gesturing toward what he wants instead of melting down. A small sign that he heard me, understood me, connected with me. 

These aren't the milestones other parents celebrate, but they're ours, and they mean everything.

When you're constantly trying to connect with someone who experiences the world so differently, every breakthrough feels monumental. When my son looks at me and I can tell he's really seeing me, really present with me in that moment, it fills me with joy. When he finds a way to communicate something to me and I actually understand, we both light up. 

Those moments remind me that we're getting through to each other, that our connection is growing.

I hold onto these small signs of understanding. They carry me through the hard days when communication feels impossible. 

They remind me that progress is happening even when it's not obvious. They give me hope that we'll keep finding new ways to understand each other, to bridge the gap between our worlds. 

#AutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismMom #AutismCommunity #AutismLife #PresumingCompetence #AutismJourney #AlternativeCommunication #AutismSupport
Some days we show up strong. Some days we show up Some days we show up strong.
Some days we show up exhausted.

Today I am quite exhausted.

But we still show up.

To the autism parents who are tired but keep loving, advocating, and trying again tomorrow, you are not alone. 

We are in this together. 

One day, one moment, one small win at a time. ๐Ÿ’œ

#autismparent #autismparenting #specialneedsparent #autismfamily #autismmom autismdad specialneedsfamily autismcommunity youarenotalone keeppushingforward
Being my son's voice is privilege, but it's also i Being my son's voice is privilege, but it's also incredibly heavy. 

Every decision about his care, his education, his therapies, his future rests on my husband and I. 

He can't tell me what he wants or needs, so I have to make my best guess and hope I'm getting it right. I have to speak up for him in IEP meetings, advocate for accommodations, push back when services aren't adequate. 

And sometimes, I'm so tired of fighting.

The hardest part is when people don't listen. When I advocate for what my son needs and get met with resistance, "that's not how we do things here." When I have to fight for basic accommodations that should be a given. 

When I explain his needs and get brushed off because the person across from me doesn't understand that non-speaking kids deserve the same opportunities as their speaking peers. It's exhausting and demoralizing.

But I keep doing it because no one else will. If I don't speak up for my son, who will? If I don't fight for what he needs, he won't get it. 

Non speaking people deserves someone in their corner who won't stop fighting for them!

#AutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismMom #AutismAdvocacy #PresumingCompetence #AutismCommunity #AutismLife #Level3Autism #AutismJourney
For a long time, I didn't understand sensory overl For a long time, I didn't understand sensory overload. 

I thought my son was being difficult when he refused to go into certain stores or covered his ears in crowded places. 

I thought he was overreacting to things that didn't seem like a big deal. But I wasn't experiencing the world the way he was. I was judging his reactions through my own sensory system, not his.

Learning to see the world through his eyes changed everything. That fluorescent lighting that doesn't bother me? It's physically painful for him. The background noise I barely notice? It's overwhelming. 

The texture of certain foods, is not a small annoyance for him. It's genuinely unbearable. 

Once I understood that, everything made more sense.

Now I'm constantly scanning environments through his lens. Is this going to be too loud? Too bright? Too crowded? Do we have an exit strategy? It's exhausting to always be thinking three steps ahead, anticipating what might trigger overload. 

But it's also made me a better advocate for him. 

I can create spaces where he feels safe. I can remove him from situations before they become too much. I can learn to see the world the way he does, and that's helped us both navigate it better.

#AutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismMom #Level3Autism #AutismLife #AutismCommunity #SensoryProcessing #AutismJourney #AutismSupport
One of the battles I fight constantly is against p One of the battles I fight constantly is against people underestimating my son. 

Because he doesn't speak, they assume he doesn't understand. They use simple language around him like he's a toddler even though he's not. They don't include him in conversations. They act like his inability to respond verbally means he's not taking anything in. 

It's very frustrating.

I see how much he understands. I see him follow instructions, anticipate routines, remember things from weeks ago. I see his face light up when someone talks about something he loves, or his body language shift when he disagrees with something. 

He's processing. He's thinking, forming opinions, making sense of his world. Just because he can't tell you what he thinks doesn't mean those thoughts aren't there.

I hope that one day, the world will catch up and start seeing what I see: a child who understands far more than anyone gives him credit for and give him choices and autonomy

#AutismParent #NonSpeakingAutism #PresumingCompetence #AutismMom #AutismParenting #AutismAcceptance #AutismCommunity #AutismLife #Level3Autism #AutismJourney
Meltdowns are still one of the hardest parts of ou Meltdowns are still one of the hardest parts of our life. 

When my son is in the middle of one, completely dysregulated, and I can't figure out what triggered it or how to help, I feel so helpless. 

It's overwhelming for both of us. Him, because he's experiencing something intense that he can't communicate. Me, because I'm trying to keep him safe while also trying to understand what's wrong. 

Those moments can break me.

But I'm learning to see meltdowns differently now. They're not bad behavior. They're not something he's doing to me. They're communication. They're his body and brain telling me that something is wrong, that he's overwhelmed, that his sensory system is overloaded or something hurts or the world is too much right now. He's trying to tell me something, even if I can't always figure out what it is.

That shift in perspective doesn't make meltdowns easier, but it makes them more bearable. Instead of feeling frustrated with him, I can have compassion for what he's going through. Instead of trying to stop the meltdown, I can focus on keeping him safe and helping him regulate. 

It's still hard. It's still exhausting. But at least now I understand it's communication, and that helps me stay present with him even in the hardest moments.

#AutismParent #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismMom #Level3Autism #AutismParenting #AutismLife #AutismCommunity #AutismSupport #RealAutismParenting #AutismJourney
I never realized how much I relied on words until I never realized how much I relied on words until I had a child who doesn't use them. 

In the beginning, I felt so lost. How was I supposed to know what he needed, what he wanted, how he was feeling? 

I didn't know how to read him. I missed cues constantly. I misunderstood his communication because I was still waiting for words that weren't coming.

But over time, I learned. 

I can tell the difference between his sounds now, what each one means, what he's trying to communicate. I can read his body language, know when he's getting overwhelmed before a meltdown happens, understand what he needs based on subtle shifts in his posture or expression. 

I've had to learn because there was no other option.

It's a skill I didn't know I'd develop, but I'm grateful for it now.

 I am still learning, but it's made me more observant, more present, more attuned to communication that exists beyond words. 

#AutismParent #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismMom #AutismParenting #AutismCommunity #AlternativeCommunication #AutismLife #AutismJourney #AutismSupport #PresumingCompetence
We added this door knob lock as an extra layer of We added this door knob lock as an extra layer of autism home safety. It prevents the handle from turning and helps reduce the risk of elopement.
#autismparenting #autismhomesafety #elopementprevention #nonspeakingautism #nonverbalautism
The assumptions people make about non-speaking chi The assumptions people make about non-speaking children are one of the hardest things to deal with. 

They see my son's silence and assume he doesn't understand, doesn't think, doesn't have opinions or preferences or a rich inner life. They talk over him, around him, about him like he's not even there. They treat him like he's less than, like his silence means emptiness. And it makes me want to scream.

Because I know better. I see the way he processes everything around him. I see him problem-solve, make choices, show preferences, remember things. I see his sense of humor, his stubbornness, his joy, his frustration. 

There is so much happening inside him. Just because he can't tell you about it in words doesn't mean it's not there. His silence isn't emptiness. It's just a different way of being.

I'm learning to trust what I know about my son even when the world reflects something different back at me. To hold onto the truth that he is whole, complete, thinking, feeling, experiencing life fully even though he can't speak. There's a whole world inside him, and I'm honored to witness it even if others can't see it yet.

#AutismParent #NonSpeakingAutism #PresumingCompetence #AutismMom #AutismParenting #AutismLife #AutismAcceptance #AutismCommunity #Level3Autism #AutismJourney
When my son was diagnosed as non-speaking, one of When my son was diagnosed as non-speaking, one of my biggest fears was that we'd never truly connect. I thought communication meant words, conversations, back-and-forth dialogue. I thought without speech, there would be this unbridgeable gap between us. I was terrified of not knowing him, of him feeling alone even with me right there. That fear kept me up at night in the early days.
But I've learned that I was wrong about what connection looks like. My son and I have our own language. It's in the way he looks at me when he needs something. The way his body relaxes when I understand what he's trying to tell me. The way he seeks me out for comfort, the way he shares his joy with me in his own way. We communicate constantly, just not with words. And honestly, sometimes our connection feels deeper because of it. There's no room for misunderstanding or saying things we don't mean. It's pure, direct, honest.
People who don't know us might look at our relationship and think something is missing. But they don't see what I see. They don't feel what I feel when my son and I are in sync, when we understand each other perfectly without a single word being spoken. Our connection is real. It's strong. And it goes so much deeper than most people realize.
#AutismParent #AutismMom #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismParenting #AutismCommunity #PresumingCompetence #AutismLife #AutismJourney #AutismFamily #AutismSupport
There have been so many mornings when I woke up wi There have been so many mornings when I woke up with absolutely nothing left to give. No energy, no emotional reserves. Days when I was so depleted I didn't know how I'd make it through. And yet, I kept showing up. Not because I'm strong or special, but because my son needed me and there was no other option. This life pushes you past what you thought was possible.
I don't always show up well. Some days I'm just going through the motions to get us both through. Some days I cry in the bathroom because I need a minute to fall apart before I pull myself together again. It's not always pretty. It's not always graceful. 
I hope that matters. I hope that on the days when I feel like I'm failing, when I'm running on empty and barely holding it together, that my son still feels loved. I hope that consistency, that showing up even when it's hard, is enough. I hope that this fierce, messy, exhausted love we give our kids changes something in them. That they know, deep down, they are worth showing up for. That they matter enough to keep trying. That's what I hold onto.
 #AutismParenting #RealAutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismFamily #Level3Autism #AutismMom
I thought I was supposed to have answers by now. I thought I was supposed to have answers by now. 

I thought after years of this, I'd feel confident and knowledgeable and like I knew what I was doing. But most days I still feel like I'm making it up as I go. Every time I think I've figured something out, something changes. My son changes. His needs evolve. What worked last month doesn't work now. I'm constantly adapting, constantly learning, constantly trying to stay one step ahead.

It's humbling, honestly. All my education, all my experience as a teacher, and I'm still learning. Still trying new approaches and hoping something sticks. 
But maybe this is just what it looks like. Maybe none of us really have it figured out, and we're all just learning as we go. Maybe doing better than I think doesn't mean being perfect or having all the answers. Maybe it just means showing up, being willing to learn, being open to changing course when something isn't working. 

 #AutismParenting #RealAutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismFamily #Level3Autism #AutismMom
There are days when I doubt every decision I've ev There are days when I doubt every decision I've ever made. The therapies we chose. The school placement. How I handled a meltdown. Whether I'm being too strict or not strict enough, too involved or not involved enough. Days when I look at my son and wonder if I'm completely failing him. If someone else would do this better. If all my efforts are even making a difference or if I'm just spinning my wheels while time passes and nothing changes.

Those days are heavy. They make me question my ability to be the parent he needs. They make me wonder if I'm doing more harm than good with my fumbling attempts to help him navigate the world around us. The doubt feels paralyzing.

But then there are other days. Days when I see something click for him. When he does something he's never done before. When I catch a glimpse of connection that wasn't there last week. When I realize how far he's actually come, how much he's grown. Those glimpses remind me why I keep going even when I doubt everything. 

#AutismParenting #RealAutismParenting #AutismParentSupport #NonSpeakingAutism #AutismFamily #Level3Autism #AutismMom
Comparison still happens even when I know it's poi Comparison still happens even when I know it's pointless. 

I see families with neurotypical kids and wonder what that would be like. I see other autism families whose kids are verbal or progressing in ways my son isn't. I compare myself to the parent I imagined I'd be. The comparisons creep in even when I try to stop them.

What's hard is living in a world that doesn't always value what we're doing. My son's progress gets overlooked because it doesn't fit traditional milestones. Our daily victories go unrecognized because they don't look like what people expect. It's easy to internalize that and start believing our journey matters less.

But it doesn't. Our journey has meaning. My son's progress is real, even when it's measured differently. The work we're doing matters, even when it goes unseen. I remind myself of this on the days when comparison gets loud. Our story is ours, and it's worthy of recognition 
#AutismParent #AutismMom #AutismParenting #AutismCommunity #AutismLife #AutismJourney #AutismSupport #RealAutismParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismFamily
My son has his own timeline. He's never spoken wor My son has his own timeline. He's never spoken words, and the traditional milestones don't apply to him. For a while, I didn't know what to celebrate or how to measure his growth when it looked nothing like what I'd been told to expect.

But I've learned to see progress differently. His milestones are his own. A new sound he makes. Tolerating a texture he used to refuse. Staying regulated in a situation that would have overwhelmed him before. These victories are real, and they're worth celebrating.

We don't measure his progress against anyone else. We look at where he was last week, last month, last year. We celebrate what he's accomplished on his own terms. His journey is unique to him.

#AutismParent #AutismMom #AutismParenting #AutismCommunity #AutismLife #AutismJourney #AutismSupport #RealAutismParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismFamily
This is one of the ways he tells us what he wants. This is one of the ways he tells us what he wants.
He types it, and the app reads it.

He prefers physical communication boards, but this is another way he practices communicating during mealtimes.

The app is called Word Wizard.
#nonspeakingautism #nonverbal #nonverbalautism #autismparenting #visualsupports
I place a little "front" sticker inside his clothe I place a little "front" sticker inside his clothes so he always knows which way they go on ๐Ÿ’› No confusion, just him doing it on his own. #nonspeakingautism #nonverbalautism #visualsupports #autismparenting
The tiredness I feel isn't something sleep can fix The tiredness I feel isn't something sleep can fix. It's cumulative. 

Years of broken sleep, constant hypervigilance, managing meltdowns, navigating systems, advocating, worrying, processing, surviving. I'd already lost my dad before my son was born, carrying that grief into motherhood. 

And then I lost my brother. The grief still hits me in waves.

Grieving while parenting, while advocating, while just trying to make it through each day. It lives in my body. Some mornings I wake up already exhausted, and I know it's going to be one of those days where I'm just pushing through on fumes.

There's physical exhaustion from the demands of caregiving. Emotional exhaustion from always being "on," always managing everyone's needs, always having to be strong even when I'm breaking inside. Mental exhaustion from the endless planning, problem-solving, researching, decision-making. And now, grief on top of all of it. It compounds. There's no real break, no moment where I get to fully rest and reset. The exhaustion just becomes part of who I am.

But somewhere in that same deep place, there's also resilience. I'm still tired. The grief still hits me hard. Some days I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. But I hope I can continue to be there for my son. I hope the strength I'm building is enough. The exhaustion is real, and so is the uncertainty. But I'm still here, and so are you.

#AutismParent #AutismMom #AutismParenting #AutismCommunity #AutismLife #AutismJourney #AutismSupport #RealAutismParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismFamily
Follow on Instagram
Instagram Pinterest
  • About Me
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact

© 2026 Learning Our Connection ยท

Scroll to top
  • Home
  • Parents
  • About Me
  • Contact
Instagram Facebook Pinterest TikTok
The Shop
What are you looking for?
Search